Dear Dad,
Congratulations, you’d say, as I walked through Emen’s door toward both you and Mom, co-parenting with your new partners. You’d hug me, and we’d take pictures together. You’d be proud of me—I’d graduated high school!
I’d go on to be accepted into Indiana University’s Group Scholars Program, paving the way into the BA program that fall. What a beautiful thing to share with you.
You’d drive to my graduation on May 6, 2017.
“That’s my babygirl!” you’d shout when they said my name over the PA with a Bachelor of Arts in English. I could hear your voice from a mile away.
I would move to Charlotte to begin a new life, seeking opportunity. You’d cheer me on, urging me to be my best, to chase life’s endeavors. You’d tell me to feel nothing, to let life’s worries go.
I’d fall a few times along the way, and you’d be there—a phone call away—ready if I needed you. You loved your babygirl.
The passing of my Papaw on Mom’s side crushed Mom and me. You’d understand the impact he had on me, never questioning the bond he had with Mom, especially after losing Mamaw Melanie. You were so genuine in your care. I’d be so thankful for such a good father.
I’d find my way back to Muncie, IN—exploring teaching, nurturing, building for four years before moving into my own office at Ball State University Teachers College as Assistant to the Associate Dean.
You’d have told me not to stop at my Bachelor’s, that it’s never too late. I’d go on to begin my MA soon after. I’d go even further, completing not one but two Ironman 70.3 races, and now counting down the days to my first full Ironman 140.6.
None of this would have been possible without you—without your guidance, empathy, and the kind of unconditional, undivided love I never actually received.
I’d be 31 when I wrote a letter to you for the world to read, fabricating encouragement that never existed, illustrating a father-daughter companionship that was never had, never even imagined. It was fraud.
What a waste—to have never known the accomplishment of your own strand of DNA.
With all my love,
Your Only Daughter
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